Tuesday, January 27, 2009

God only gives you what you can handle?

Throughout my grieving process many friends have commented "I know this doesn't make it any easier...  but God only gives you what you can handle".  Well, no, it doesn't make it any easier, and I'm not so sure it is necessarily true.

Let me get a few things straight.  I was raised "Christian".  My mom was raised mormon/catholic and my dad Episcopalian but they were married in a Protestant church.  My maternal grandfather always said "you are closest to God on top of a mountain with your family".  Having never religiously attended formal church proceedings (no pun intended, or maybe just a little) his sentiment is the best way I can describe my spiritual roots.  I have traveled the world and witnessed many religious traditions and beliefs.  Allah, the Light, the Creator, God, Buddha, Zeus, etc. are any of the names I have heard with reference to the "great one" or God.  Everyone has varying beliefs of where we came from and who was our Creator but almost without fail every religion believes that there is a greater being.  For the sake of my purpose here I will refer to him/her as God. 

Isn't it our purpose here on Earth to be more like God?  Aren't we supposed to do good to our fellow men, create happiness for ourselves, and in turn we will someday go to heaven?  Aren't we supposed to act like God, and when we fall short, pray for His forgiveness?  Why then, do people continue to believe that God only gives us what we can handle?  Why are the good, strong, confident humans punished with terrible losses & tragedies simply because they can handle it?  Why are the teenage crack moms blessed with healthy babies?  I am not a believer that God only gives us what we can handle, rather I think we are dealt different hands of cards and our Godliness is based on how we handle them.  Now don't get me wrong, I do "freak out" from time to time as do most.  However, I have always felt that given the toughest of scenarios I can think clearly and react accordingly.  Someday I hope that this "payment" to the universe will pay dividends and result in a wonderful family for my husband and I.  We are blessed in so many ways, but for now I just hope that my reaction & dealings with tragedy will someday result in a happy family ending.   

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A pregnancy blog with a twist.

If you start from my first entry "The Beginning" you will hear about my life's tragedy.  Out of the ashes of this terrible experience I have formed a whole new outlook on pregnancy.  Throw away the pregnancy books, stop worrying and complaining about pregnancy symptoms, forget about the multi-billion dollar pregnancy & baby industry and simply enjoy the miracle of creating life.  I plan to write about this pregnancy process from a new perspective.  A wiser, more thankful, and hopefully not too jaded perspective.  Since I wouldn't wish my tragedy on my worst enemy I hope that women can learn from my experience and perhaps view their own pregnancies in a slightly different light.  Enjoy!  And, happy miracle making!