Dr. B

When you make the exciting decision to actively try to get pregnant (or, stop preventing pregnancy, whichever way you look at it) one of the first big decisions to make is: who will be your doctor.  Usually women make this decision based on gender, whether or not they do their own ultrasounds, if they deliver their own babies, what hospital they cover, how convenient their office is, or even, who can get them in the fastest after a positive pregnancy test.  While all of these things are minor considerations, this could be the most important decision you make.  No one ever wants to plan for the worst when entering pregnancy, but when things go south quickly, your doctor is the single most important decision you will have ever made.    

I chose Dr. B.  I am giving him this alias just in case I misquote him in my future blog entries (pregnancy forgetfulness:  STELLAR symptom #5- see last blog entry).  Now, Dr. B could be the nicest human on the planet, in fact I'm pretty sure he is.  Not to mention, he is incredibly well-read, has great bedside manner, LOVES what he does, and sees just about every single one of my girlfriends here in town.  These are the reasons I chose him to be my doctor.  Little did I know how important his role would become in my pregnancy, and in my life.  

So, you've heard about the worst night/day of my life.  But what you didn't hear was that Dr. B was there the entire night as well.  He was not the on-call physician that night and by no means would I have expected him to take a "free" night away from his 4 kids and wife to be with us.  He stayed at the hospital the entire night, checking on us every couple of hours until our delivery the next morning.  When he delivered the babies, he was just as choked up as Frank and I were.  For the next few weeks after our delivery he would tear up every time he saw me walking down the hallway of the hospital or sitting in his clinic.  I truly believe he cares about us and was just as hurt by the loss of our girls as we were.  

I'm not sure of Dr. Bs religious beliefs, but he strikes me as a spiritual person (I suppose you can't help but get that way when you deliver 200+ babies a year).  He reassured us that there was nothing that could've been done differently to change the loss of our girls, and that there would be a happy ending in the near future.  Some of my favorite quotes of his:

"Don't go forward in fear"

"If God gives you a good day, take it"

"This is a new pregnancy, and new karma"

"Your pregnancy is predetermined once you get pregnant, there is nothing you can do to change the outcome"

"I'm sorry I'm such a sap" (to which we always respond "that's why you are our doctor")

When I asked if I could see him weekly this time around, he replied "of course you can, come in whenever you want".  OK, I was joking, but his enthusiasm around me potentially becoming his nightmare patient was very sweet (again, remember the guy delivers 200+ babies a year, imagine his clinic schedule!).  In addition, without me even asking, he remarked that he will not be taking any vacations or attend any medical conferences in October, he wants to be there to deliver our baby.   And, I do believe that we need a new L&D experience together, this time with a happy ending!  

So there you have it, pick your physician wisely.  Because, similar to a husband, when times are tough, you really need them to be there for you.