Tuesday, September 8, 2009

The countdown is on...

I have officially made it into the "safe zone", the organs are all developed & Dr. B would not stop labor should it start any day. Ironically, Labor Day was our final mile marker on this long and sometimes scary pregnancy road. Frank and I honestly never thought we'd get this far and it does feel amazingly great to know that the baby is fully developed! Although I chuckle when I say it "feels" really great because I have become increasingly uncomfortable & am anxiously awaiting any sign that labor is beginning. When people ask if I am ready they might be taken aback by my over enthusiastic "YES I AM READY!" My husband reminds me that we still have a week and a half or so before baby is full, full term, and I look at him lovingly and say "easy for you to say, buddy!"

Dr. B has a theory that the last few weeks of pregnancy are purposefully miserable so women actually look forward to labor. I couldn't agree more and looking forward to labor is an understatement in my case. First and foremost, I think the safe delivery of this child will provide an immense amount of closure for Frank and I (and even Dr. B & our closest friends & family). The last time we were admitted into L&D was literally the worst day of our lives. This time the day we are admitted will hopefully prove to be the best! I also sometimes find my mind wandering to the worse case scenario & it feels as though the baby is safer in my arms than in my belly at this point, although my right mind knows that is not the case & that the worry I have experienced during pregnancy is only a scratch on the surface of what is to come through this child's life. The whole year and half of pregnancy (as miraculous as it is) has gotten a little old & makes me excited to remember what it feels like to not be pregnant. And among the late pregnancy trivial annoyances such as insomnia, cramps, aches, pains, difficulty moving around, heartburn, stretch marks, etc. is the more important emotion of eager anticipation to finally meet this beautiful being. I feel like a 4 year old waiting for Christmas morning, yet not knowing when Christmas morning is going to come.

Obviously, I have a very strong desire for the contractions to start rolling in like El Nino, yet the rational and much more patient side of my mind reminds me to enjoy these last few days/weeks of pregnancy. Many women who I've interacted with lately say they see my belly & feel jealous and that they loved being pregnant & miss their pregnant bodies. Again, hard for me to understand that feeling right now, but it does help bring me back to earth & reminds me that even this late stage in pregnancy should be savored, because truly it could be over any day!

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A pregnancy blog with a twist.

If you start from my first entry "The Beginning" you will hear about my life's tragedy.  Out of the ashes of this terrible experience I have formed a whole new outlook on pregnancy.  Throw away the pregnancy books, stop worrying and complaining about pregnancy symptoms, forget about the multi-billion dollar pregnancy & baby industry and simply enjoy the miracle of creating life.  I plan to write about this pregnancy process from a new perspective.  A wiser, more thankful, and hopefully not too jaded perspective.  Since I wouldn't wish my tragedy on my worst enemy I hope that women can learn from my experience and perhaps view their own pregnancies in a slightly different light.  Enjoy!  And, happy miracle making!