23 weeks 3 days

I have officially made it past the black cloud that has loomed over this pregnancy. Our girls were born angels at 23 weeks 2 days. Most women feel most apprehensive toward pregnancy in the first trimester. It is well documented that the majority of pregnancy losses occur in the first 12 weeks of pregnancy. For me the first trimester was a breeze. I felt like this pregnancy was a complete miracle and any minor symptoms I experienced were overshadowed by my excitement and belief that this pregnancy was a gift and simply meant to be. Around 16 weeks I started to feel the impending doom of the 2nd trimester.

For most, the 2nd trimester is the best! The annoying pregnancy symptoms have subsided, you are starting to show but aren't too big or uncomfortable, you can feel the baby move & kick, your energy level is good & in general you just feel great. For me, the 2nd trimester was a physical reminder of where I was when I lost the girls. Not to mention I started to experience some scary symptoms which only exacerbated my paranoia. I joke with my girlfriends who love the 2nd trimester by saying "the 2nd trimester sucks, bring on the 1st & please let me have a 3rd". I say that maintaining a sense of humor as I still believe that every day of pregnancy is truly a gift & no symptom or complication will take that from me. That being said I have been put back on "stricter" bed rest after some cramping last Thursday night. Dr. B claims that cramping (similar to menstrual cramps) are productive labor contractions & are not to be taken lightly. He also described the harmless Braxton Hicks contractions as sporadic painless tightening in your mid to upper abdomen. So I am back on the couch more thankful than ever for every day I lay here as it means the baby is growing, its organs, muscles & bones are getting stronger & we are one day closer to a healthy, full term baby.

As the 3rd trimester nears I feel more optimistic than ever. I feel great despite the expected side effects from my daily life as a couch potato. The moment guilt starts to overwhelm me for not being physically present at work, or for missing important trips & social engagements, or for asking my husband to refill my water glass 1 more time, I feel the baby kick and am reminded that the most important job I have right now is to ensure this baby continues to grow & safely stays put until the time is right! So the black cloud has passed & slowly but surely my husband and I are getting closer to the pot of gold at the end of our rainbow.